LEGALLY BLONDE

Snappy songs, sensational choreography and outrageously sexy… pretty much sums up the Vision of Pink on the Golden Gate Stage.

Here is a self-centered Malibu girl who has a great body, a beautiful head of natural blonde hair and a self-centered boyfriend, who sings to her “Let’s Be Serious”. She thinks that he is talking ‘proposal’, but what he is really saying is that he’s done Marilyn now and needs to switch to someone more like a Jackie Kennedy. After all, he is going to Harvard Law School and a blonde bimbo is not exactly the image that he wants to be seen with. Yeah, she’s a beauty…but his career is more important at the moment.

With encouragement from her entourage of Sorority girls and a Greek Chorus – Blondie decides to follow the guy that jilted her, to Harvard. She passes the entrance exam and arrives to the first class dressed in her signature pink and her flowing blonde hair. It’s going to be an uphill battle for anyone to take her seriously. Of course, in the class is the ex-boyfriend and his new very prim and proper girlfriend with her brunette Bobbed Hair Style. A very conservative type for sure. There are a lot of messages in this frothy pink stew. On one hand there is the misogynist thing, and on the other hand ‘the feminist’ cause boils over the pot. Blondie is determined to show that she can do anything that any of the boys can do. She even tones down her pink to a stunning blue. Or, as she calls it “The New Pink.”

In ‘Legally Blonde’ there are reminders of “Grease” “The Producers” and “Dreamgirls”, especially when the Greek Chorus (Three singers) pop up with upbeat songs to encourage Blondie on. You’ll also hear references to Oprah and other Celebs. There is even a hilarious bit about UPS. The UPS guy swaggers into the Beauty Shop in the signature brown shorts and matching shirt. Once in the door the swaggering stops -- he parks his legs in a manly and come hither stance and says: “I HAVE A PACKAGE!” And indeed he did. This was not lost on the audience as they doubled up in laughter. I’m sure that UPS can expect a surge of “Package” biz.

There is also a lot of Gay references in the play. Here is one: “Is he gay or European?” Answer: “Depending on the time of day. The French go either way.” That definitely is “Producers” type of humor. When Blondie is confronted by the Ex’s new Girlfriend who tells her that her outfits don’t look appropriate for school… Blondie responds: “You look like last years sample sale.”

Laura Bell Bundy who plays the ambitious Blonde is a terrific actress, sensationally sexy and sings up a storm. Richard H. Blake also is astounding as the Jerk Boyfriend. “Legally” opens with this soon to be legendary song “Ohmigod You Guys” sung by the Delta Nu’s Sorority and Blonde Elle. Orteh, (Paulette) sings a beautiful Irish ballad in “The Hair Affair” Salon. Kate Shindle (The New Girlfriend) has a great voice and terrific stage presence. Christian Borle is Grade: “A” as Blondie’s newest love interest. The audience approved of his spellbinding ways. This is a huge cast and there isn’t room to thank all of them for making this one of the most enjoyable evenings in the theater this season.

Legally Blonde is a witty and mercurial winner! – and you’re going to Broadway, Baby!

AT THE GOLDEN GATE THEATER:
RATING: FOUR GLASSES OF CHAMPAGNE!!!! – Trademarked – (Highest Rating)

THE DYING GAUL:



(Rear) Kalli Jonsson (Front, L to R) Laura Jane Coles, Michael Phillis

A GAY SCREENWRITER, WHO IS SUICIDAL because his lover and agent has just died. In this tragedy set in Hollywood (circa 1995) the young screenwriter is soon caught up in a web of Hollywood deceit. He tries to peddle a play that he feels would make a good movie. He takes it to a Car Sales type movie mogul who has put together many movie deals, It turns out that the film producer (Jeffrey) is a bisexual man, who takes advantage of the naïve young writer. The question here is did the producer agree to take on the writers project because he really felt that it was good, or did he have something else in mind. Like maybe a little sex on the side?

The film producer is married to a conniving woman, who likes being married to an important man and live in a grand mansion with a football size swimming pool. When she sees Jeffrey (her husband) spending more time with the younger man, she begins to suspect something. Oh, she knows that he likes boys, but this one is different. She feels that the bond is a threat to her marriage. So, she sets out to destroy the young writer by concocting an Internet scheme to extract information about the affair by using a made up screen name. This might be a lesson to us all. Make sure that you know who is online with you. They just might be out to destroy you.

The Title “The Dying Gaul” refers to a Roman statue of a wounded soldier that instills compassion. The screenwriter discovered it during a trip to Europe with his now dead lover. The problem is – he must sacrifice his play. The film producer will give a million dollars for the play – but most of the “Gay” associations have to be rewritten to make it basically a heterosexual play. A million bucks to this guy who lives below poverty is a lot of money. On the other hand – the producer is cheating him. He has payed much more to other writers.

In the end, everyone is pretty much destroyed. The wife meets a terrible end. The film producer is destroyed and Robert, the young screenwriter is responsible for it all. This Craig Lucas play, is wonderfully written and the direction by Bruce Elsperger is absolutely flawless, bringing out all the nuances in the writing. Michael Phillis, who you may remember from the sensational ‘D’Face’ a one man play that he wrote, is just remarkable as Robert (The Screenwriter). The snarky film producer Jeffrey is played wonderfully by Kalli Johnson. His wife Laura Jane Coles is superb in this cunning part. Darren Blaney as Robert’s ‘Shrink’ – gives a rich reflective performance. Let me just say this. The production is exemplary it’s the one Drama you should see. It’s chilling!

AT THE NEW CONSERVATORY CENTER.

RATING: FOUR GLASSES OF CHAMPAGNE!!!! – trademarked – (Highest Rating)

KAREN MASON:



SHE’S BEEN NORMA DESMOND IN THE MUSICAL ‘SUNSET BOULEVARD’ AND SHE WILL ALWAYS BE NORMA. Now, I’m not saying that she is an over the hill silent movie screen, I’m saying that she has that mystery about her. The emotion in her voice is Legendary, just like the Legend of Desmond. It’s a sound and an image that remains stuck in your mind forever.

Sunset Boulevard was supposed to open the newly renovated Orpheum Theater – but the Tour starring Mason stopped in Denver, leaving the Orpheum without a show for it’s Grand Opening. They managed to book “Showboat”. Although good – I think that Mason in ‘Sunset’ would have blown the roof off the Orpheum. What a shame. But lucky us… b Mason comes to San Francisco often to perform at the exquisite ‘Crystal Ballroom’ in the Marines Memorial. This time she opened the same night as the Qe2 docked on the bay. Someone said looking around the room, it looks just like one of the Ballrooms on the Queen Mary. So, there we were in luxury – just like a luxury liner, listening to the luxurious sounds of Karen Mason in a special “Valentine’s Day’ show.

Mason sang a wonderful version of “All That Jazz” (Chicago). Then she launched into a fantastic version of “If This Isn’t Love?” (Finnian’s Rainbow). Then she took us on a dreamy trip with “A Whole New World” (Aladdin). Also one of my favorites was “World On A String”. But that wasn’t enough. Mason wowed the audience with “Maybe This Time” from Cabaret. And befitting the ambience of the room, she gave us a sensational rendering of “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend” (Gentlemen Prefer Blondes) by Julie Stein. To wrap it up – the audience couldn’t stop cheering for her robust “The Winner Takes it All”. And she was the winner of this fully rounded evening with her self-confidence and seduction. Loved it…and can’t wait for her to come back. And big Kudos to Executive Producer Marilyn Levinson and singer Connie Champagne who appeared with Karen Mason. Next up at the Marines Memorial will be Maureen McGovern (Academy Award-winning recording artist) on Sunday May 6th at 5pm.

RATING: FOUR GLASSES OF CHAMPAGNE!!!! – trademarked- (Highest Rating)

LEGALLY BLONDE IS NOT THE ONLY BLONDE AROUND. There is a new movie about to be released called “Marilyn…Forever Blonde”. As we all know, Marilyn was the ultimate Blonde and will never ever fade from life. The film is currently being edited at Victory Studios. The play and the film are scheduled to open about the same time. The play is set in a photographer’s studio. The opening scene is of Marilyn wrapped only in white satin sheets, as she sings “Kiss Me”, to an overhead rotating camera. Actress Sunny Thompson who has appeared on stage around the world plays Marilyn. Thompson also has a gold record recording career. Stephanie Shine directs the play and the film version. Shine is the artistic director of the Seattle Shakespeare Company. The play and the film will debut together, with the play at the Stella Adler Theatre in February in Hollywood. Yep, Blonde is in – and it looks like it’s in for a long run.

SEEN AND HEARD – Flash Dancing with the Celebs!

ANNE HECHE has left hubby Coley Lafoon for her “Men In Trees” co-star James Tupper, ET reports. The story line of the show: It has Heche and Tupper playing red-hot lovers in Alaska. “Didn’t she start out that way with Ellen DeGeneres?” – Celebs ask.

STOP THE PRESSES: ANNA NICOLLE SMITH HAS DIED, APPARENTLY FROM AN OVERDOSE. At this point it is not known if it was accidental or intentioned. Already – the conspiracy plots are mentioned. Easy to come up with some, since there are a bunch of people out there who could or would want to get her out of the way. Now what? Well, buzzin predicts that she will gain star status ala Marilyn Monroe. There will be reams of stories and docudramas about her. And of course…THE MOVIE and then THE MUSICAL. I for one will miss her. She was troubled, but she had vulnerability that made her accessable.



The Photo of Lee Hartgrave Boy Reporter is by Jim Ferreira – Film Noir & Hollywood Glamour. www.lafterhall.com.

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